"No" is a great word to learn, though! Woo!
It is in terms of learning how consent works and sticking up for yourself but not when you’re trying to feed them lunch and they start shouting no over and over again.
On a separate post because good and bad shouldn’t be lumped in together.
River said “no” for the first time today. I know that’ll get really old really quickly but I’m still proud of her! :)
Text from River’s father out of the blue:
"Hi sorry for texting i did want wait till things was better but i just got a letter from csa today but i called about 2 weeks ago so i hope u hear from them its bin hard staying away from u both i hope all is well and i can chat with u soon to try and chat cos i aint the same cunt as before"
"I got a letter yesterday saying they were making contact and they would arrange everything. I think any contact should be arranged through the legal system so that it’s supervised and I can have someone 100% verify you aren’t drinking or acting unstable/suicidal again. I don’t really want to talk directly as I’m angry and I think it would only cause everyone involved stress."
"Thats why i didn’t text for so long i was so pissed with you but if that what u want and i can see her then i will do it but i only drink one day a week with mates that are good for me and its not hard beer i have done a lot and i wanted to show u but i take it is too late."
"I would want proof from an official party (GP or psychiatrist or similar). I learned a while ago I can’t take your word for anything related to this and I’m not about to put my daughter in a situation I don’t trust especially as it’s only been 2 months and that’s not nearly long enough to see if someone has really changed or not. Please go through the proper legal system so everything is arranged properly."
"Yea ok tell me what u need to see and i will be happy to got it for u and i no its not a long time but its bin for me i no your looking out for her u always did i am happy to go along with any think u want ok"
"I need some kind of proof you are consistently low on alcohol. If you can get breathalysers or blood tests or something that would be best. And maybe a report from your psychiatrist about state of mind. That’s why I said legal system. A solicitor would probably know better how to handle it. And I don’t want to be involved in drop off or pick up or talk directly so this will be my last message."
"So i never see or hear from u ever?"
"I don’t see the need. You don’t need to talk to me directly to be a part of River’s life and there’s no way I could ever see myself coming close enough to forgiving you for us to be friends or anything. Our relationship did too much damage and I don’t want to be reminded of that any more."
"O ok i was holding on to the hope one day we would be back together but if u don’t want it then ok sorry i made it this bad"
"I remembered a lot of the bad things in our relationship in our time apart and when I really stopped to think about it I don’t think it ever did anything good for me. I spent too much time focusing on someone else and never being happy and if I were to take that person back after a year or something because they swore they’d changed I’d be disrespecting myself and ignoring all the pain I went through and I don’t think that’s wise or that it would set a good example to my daughter either. I hope you don’t let her down but you let me down a long time ago. It just took me this long to see it. I’m done talking now. I need this chapter of my life to be over."
I’m not ready to forgive you. I’ll never be ready to forgive you.
Been organising with the Child Support Agency for over a month and I finally received a letter telling me they’ve initiated contact with River’s father. That means the payment amount starts from yesterday and the longer he dodges them the more backpay will accumulate until they finally get him to agree to pay. Then again they did the same with my dad and we never got any of the hundreds he owed. I guess I’ll have to wait and see.
The biggest insult in all this is that he only has to pay £5 a week. That’s £20 a month. It doesn’t even pay for her nappies. But he’s on benefits so we can’t claim for more. Even though I know he regularly works cash in hand without declaring it.
If he wants to be a useless dick and waste his life away until he dies convulsing in a pub toilet somewhere then that’s fine by me. My feeling died a while ago. It just makes me mad that he thinks just because he’s not fit to be near her he doesn’t have to pay towards her.
Someone smack him.
I’m tired and I need to bitch and I don’t really have friends any more so this will have to do.
I WANT TO GO TO BED
honeyedheroine asked: Once you get this you must share five random facts about yourself. Then pass this on to ten followers
Nice, my elf eyes are always on the look out for Browncoat items.
Thankies :) I also have a brown t-shirt with the dinosaurs and the related infamous quote, a black t-shirt with the plans of Serenity on it and a black t-shirt with “In-ter-es-ting (in’tri’sting) adj. 1. capable of holding one’s attention 2. arousing a feeling of interest 3. oh God, oh God, we’re all going to die.”
Is that a Firefly t-shirt?
Yes it is. Browncoats unite.. and go see Santa!
sex is cool but have u ever had garlic bread
This pretty much describes how I feel about sex/sexuality and why I choose to identify as asexual. Like I can appreciate a mentally-stimulating session of interesting kink every now and then when there’s nothing better to do (and it’s hard for me to think of times when there aren’t better things to be getting on with) but honestly.. I could read. Or cook. Or watch TV. Or game. Or go food shopping. Or watch paint dry. We should do those things instead.