Something to read at night

A new blog as my old one was full of old events and also linked to an email I no longer have access to. I will be blogging about mental health, asexuality, motherhood and so on. Based on personal experiences only.

These girls aren’t wounded so much as post-​wounded, and I see their sisters everywhere. They’re over it. I am not a melodramatic person. God help the woman who is. What I’ll call “post-​wounded” isn’t a shift in deep feeling (we understand these women still hurt) but a shift away from wounded affect: These women are aware that “woundedness” is overdone and overrated. They are wary of melodrama, so they stay numb or clever instead. Post-​wounded women make jokes about being wounded or get impatient with women who hurt too much. The post-​wounded woman conducts herself as if preempting certain accusations: Don’t cry too loud; don’t play victim. Don’t ask for pain meds you don’t need; don’t give those doctors another reason to doubt. Post-​wounded women fuck men who don’t love them and then they feel mildly sad about it, or just blasé about it; they refuse to hurt about it or to admit they hurt about it—​or else they are endlessly self-​aware about it, if they do allow themselves this hurting.

The post-​wounded posture is claustrophobic: jadedness, aching gone implicit, sarcasm quick on the heels of anything that might look like self-​pity. I see it in female writers and their female narrators, troves of stories about vaguely dissatisfied women who no longer fully own their feelings. Pain is everywhere and nowhere. Post-​wounded women know that postures of pain play into limited and outmoded conceptions of womanhood. Their hurt has a new native language spoken in several dialects: sarcastic, jaded, opaque; cool and clever. They guard against those moments when melodrama or self-​pity might split their careful seams of intellect, expose the shame of self-​absorption without self-​awareness.

—   

Leslie Jamison, “Grand Unified Theory of Female Pain” (via fleeten)

Ugh this made me too self aware. Damn you -_-

(Source: et--cetera, via pearlsandink)

An incident from my past has cropped up and no one who was around at the time is still around and I don’t want to burden new people with problems they weren’t even around for and my brain is screaming.

Pedophilia Now Classified As A Sexual Orientation | Neon Tommy

bleak-necrotic-paleness:

persephone-falls:

bleak-necrotic-paleness:

rtrixie:

IT BEGINS

When am I going to be called a bigot for not supporting pedo rights?

It was only a matter of time.

Doesn’t stop paedophilia being wrong, though.

I don’t see a problem with this? Paedophilia is the sexual attraction to minors and not something that is chosen. Paedophiles who have submitted themselves for research often remember first feeling the attraction at a very young age (sometimes from the age of 10 onwards). This puts it on the same level as any other orientation in terms of being something you cannot choose for yourself. Not all paedophiles act on their urges either which sets them apart from those who do abuse children. I believe they are making the right choice here because it leaves the option for paedophiles who have not yet committed a crime to submit themselves for therapy and hopefully stop themselves from ever being responsible for the abuse of a child. Paedophilia is not something that is just going to go away so it makes sense to focus on treatment. Why would anyone be against that? o_O

I guess I misread it as condoning paedophilia 0.0

If they don’t act on their urges, there isn’t so much of an issue. If this does mean they can get therapy without being shamed/feeling threatened, and hopefully reduce their urges, that’s a really positive outcome.

However, if they DO act on their urges, and/or put minors at risk, they are still a threat and should be treated as such.

The whole point of that classification is to make it possible for paedophiles to receive help before they ever become any kind of threat. There are paedophiles who seek mental health treatment at the moment and therapists don’t even know how to deal with them because technically they’re just supposed to call the police as soon as they believe someone is putting minors at risk and how can they gauge whether a paedophile is a risk or not so they’d rather just not have them as a patient and strike them off their list and try to forget about it. For people to have urges deeply ingrained in them and do everything in their power to fight them is a very admirable thing and they should be able to go somewhere for treatment so they don’t resort to either giving into their urges, killing themselves or both.

Pedophilia Now Classified As A Sexual Orientation | Neon Tommy

bleak-necrotic-paleness:

rtrixie:

IT BEGINS

When am I going to be called a bigot for not supporting pedo rights?

It was only a matter of time.

Doesn’t stop paedophilia being wrong, though.

I don’t see a problem with this? Paedophilia is the sexual attraction to minors and not something that is chosen. Paedophiles who have submitted themselves for research often remember first feeling the attraction at a very young age (sometimes from the age of 10 onwards). This puts it on the same level as any other orientation in terms of being something you cannot choose for yourself. Not all paedophiles act on their urges either which sets them apart from those who do abuse children. I believe they are making the right choice here because it leaves the option for paedophiles who have not yet committed a crime to submit themselves for therapy and hopefully stop themselves from ever being responsible for the abuse of a child. Paedophilia is not something that is just going to go away so it makes sense to focus on treatment. Why would anyone be against that? o_O

You know what?

persephone-falls:

wangyaoforequality:

To all the radfems complaining about 4chan spamming the #feminism and the #misogyny tags, I don’t feel sorry for any of you as a female and a former feminist. You wanna know why?

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I agree with not visiting 4chan if you don’t like the content. I don’t agree with assholes thinking it’s amusing triggering folks by posting bad things in feminism related tags. If they wanted to have the high ground, they definitely just lost it. And for people who say they’re not feminists but support equal rights for women (and I’m a-okay with people not labelling themselves if they care that much about it) how can you support pictures of women being abused used in 4chan’s protest? That alone should have made people withdraw their support.

You know what?

wangyaoforequality:

To all the radfems complaining about 4chan spamming the #feminism and the #misogyny tags, I don’t feel sorry for any of you as a female and a former feminist. You wanna know why?

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THAT’S WHY

-admin

Yeah sorry but a few extremists doesn’t excuse them posting pictures of gore and rape for the very VERY many of us who don’t participate in extremism. In fact, the idea that people think it’s justified disgusts me.

(via bleak-necrotic-paleness)

Dared to express my feelings for once towards my mother and she told me to just “suck it up and deal with it like everyone else.” Like I’ve never heard that from someone with no history of trauma or severe mental illness. I was almost disappointed she couldn’t say anything more original.

I’m so sick of this attitude that dictates to be grateful for things I can never complain about anything else. Like yes, well done that you haven’t kicked me and River out on the streets. I am aware of that. You threaten me with that possibility every time we have an argument. I walk on eggshells in this house most of the time in case you ever decide to go through with it. And FYI that shouldn’t be considered a favour, especially if threats to rescind on it come so often.

Apparently I don’t do enough housework (I already tidy all mine and River’s things, do both of our washing, clean her bottles, cook mine and her food, hoover and dust. By contrast she does the washing up, takes out the bins and recycling) but then when I offer to do more I get told I would do it wrong so don’t bother.

I get told this is my place as much as it is hers but when it comes to inviting people over she dictates when I can and can’t. It’s allowed when she’s at work which is when all of my friends happen to be at work too but she just decides it’s oh-so-generous despite knowing full well there is no one to invite over during those times. Having someone over in the evening or a weekend? Forget about it. But she has friends from Germany stay in our place for over a week without notifying me until the last minute.

I pay half of all bills except for rent but again, I have no say in anything.

Basically every single day is spent looking after my daughter alone. I go to groups, the same shitty groups every week, alone. I go shopping alone. I sit around the house while River naps alone. Watch some TV because what the hell else can I do. Then the weekends ARE EXACTLY THE SAME. Week in, week out. I get maybe 16 hours once a month to hang out with friends and half of that is spent sleeping at theirs because I know as soon as I get home in the morning I have to go right back to taking care of River so I need to be rested. So forget dancing, staying up late, drinking a lot, you know general things that help blow off steam.

On top of that I currently have a shitload of resurfacing trauma from rape, domestic abuse and postnatal depression but as I said in the beginning, I should just shut up and deal with it. Because, y’know, no one wants to hear about that.

Honestly, if I didn’t care about River as much as I did it’s a toss up as to whether I’d just disappear somewhere with all my savings or put myself in the hospital. As it turns out, I can’t do either. In fact I can’t do anything. The irony of my mum’s statement is I’ve been shutting up and dealing with it for months now to the point where I’ve regained heart palpitations, low blood pressure and breathlessness from repressing everything. But I’m A-okay.

http://bleak-necrotic-paleness.tumblr.com/post/90477827550/persephone-falls-arguewithatree

persephone-falls:

arguewithatree:

persephone-falls:

arguewithatree:

unpopular opinion: honestly, if your employer isn’t paying for your male coworker’s condoms, they shouldn’t be forced to pay for your birth control either. that’s actual equality.

Except women use birth…

It’s about the ruling in the US. The land of fuck you if you want decent healthcare haha

arguewithatree:

persephone-falls:

arguewithatree:

unpopular opinion: honestly, if your employer isn’t paying for your male coworker’s condoms, they shouldn’t be forced to pay for your birth control either. that’s actual equality.

Except women use birth control for a lot more than having sex. Not so much for condoms. Research please.

except you didn’t read the part where i said, “and i say this as someone who is on birth control for medical reasons.” whoops.

Nope I didn’t because the friend who reposted this didn’t have your tags. Be that as it may, just because you happen to be on birth control for medical reasons doesn’t make your comparison any less idiotic. In fact, I’d like to suggest that you of all people should know better.

Either way, I’m glad I live in the UK where I can receive any contraception for any reason I choose it for free (Y)

arguewithatree:

unpopular opinion: honestly, if your employer isn’t paying for your male coworker’s condoms, they shouldn’t be forced to pay for your birth control either. that’s actual equality.

Except women use birth control for a lot more than having sex. Not so much for condoms. Research please.

(via bleak-necrotic-paleness)